I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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