Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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