Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
