do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Buhtt sex?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
