Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
