How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I CAN MOONWALK!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
