Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
