I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
