This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
