I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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