I am puke
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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