I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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