I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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