Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
