question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
