after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
