Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
