Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
