It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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