Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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