I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
