so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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