I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
