i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm too high and old for this...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
