she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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