When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
