Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
