put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
