My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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