her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
