Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
