K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
