dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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