It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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