if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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