2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish I could teleport
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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