I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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