We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
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Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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