its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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