what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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