UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
