It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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