The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
