my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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