im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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