You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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