Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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