it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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