That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
