Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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