I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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