Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
