she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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