What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I want to be your penis for a week.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
