you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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