benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize