Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
