she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
