she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize