tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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