He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize