I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
