I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
